Lips of an angel.

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

And you talk about how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
So this is goodbye.

Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder.

All this hate inside me... man, you really have no idea...

So maybe tomorrow, I'll find my way home.

Of the 5263 farking things I can't stand about you, I most hate the fact that you are NOT a fighter. And that is why, my dear J, you will never be good enough for me.

There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
It's still a little hard to say what's going on.

Damien Rice - Cannonball.

And so it is, just like you said it would be.

I have seriously had enough, but perhaps I should give Masi Oka a try before giving up on them once and for all?

I'm in the middle of a breakdown
Watching you scream
In the middle of a breakdown
Screaming at me

And by the way
By the way
What made you think you'd have it your way?
And by the way
By the way
Don't say I didn't warn you
That I'll always stay the same.

Hinder - By The Way.

Oh the angst... the angst -- I *love* it.

All along the watchtower.

I had a very random, out of the blue heart-to-heart chat with the coussie-housemate last night over dinner. I mean, we talk heaps almost everyday but last night we just went on and on, about our lives, about funny experiences, about family, about how we were coping. There were unexpected tears when we suddenly remembered our little boy who left three years ago and the many regrets that came with it... but all in all, it was a great coussie-bonding session even though I barely ate my dinner :)

It is true that we get on each other's nerves and feel like wringing each other's necks all the damn bloody time with our different personalities and habits, but at the end of the day we don't choose our family, and this is a relationship that will last forever no matter what happens - knowing and realising that *again* last night, was actually rather comforting...

I am thankful for my family, and the friends who are there for me.

"He said he would stop, and he went on betraying. He said he would stop, and he went on... if I'd only known--"
"He did love you though."
"But he didn't give up anything to do it. What kind of love is that?"

- Brothers and Sisters -

Also, also also also -- my thesis is due TOMORROW. Raaarrrr!!

Mayday.

志明真正不知要按怎
为什么
爱人不愿阁再相偎
春娇已经早就无在听
讲这多
其实拢总拢无卡抓

走到淡水的海岸
两个人的爱情
已经无人看
已经无人听 啊

我跟你最好就到这
你对我已经没感觉
到这冻止
你也免爱我

我跟你最好就到这
你对我已经没感觉
麦阁伤心
麦阁我这爱你
你不爱我

I never ever thought a Hokkien song with such a cheesy title could strike such a chord. But yes, this is my favourite Mayday song and the lyrics pretty much sum it up - I am done.

So farking DONE.

After dark.

寂寞轰炸

On bended knee.



Been feeling rather nostalgic lately so I did a search for some old songs on YouTube. I found this gem from 1994 - Boyz II Men's best song, in my opinion... okay, apart from I'll Make Love To You, Water Runs Dry, It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday, and End Of The Road (haha).

Man, I used to *love* Boyz II Men and I think I still do!

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they used to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee...

Boyz II Men - On Bended Knee.

Dammit Lynn will you please save some dignity for yourself???!!!

Fake plastic trees.

Now that my academic life has come to an end (at least for the next 1-2 years?), the excuses for prolonging my stay at university have been exhausted, and I'm terrified of the future.

Terrified.

I mean, it's not as if I don't know what's in store. Everything's pretty much been mapped out - going home, moving back with Mummy, getting a job, and that's when my life will really begin. But it's also been a full five years living overseas, and I've gotten used to a certain way of life here. As much as I'm still attached to my family and friends back home... the thought of leaving here for good... kills.

Ah well, I'll get back to thinking about that after the damn thesis is done, which is like... in 6 days.

SIX FRIGGIN' DAYS TO SUBMISSION!!!!!!!

X X X

It seems like everyone around me is studying for this strange but very important exam called CFA. I never knew what it REALLY was until I googled it (bah ignorant arts students), or that it is actually going to be held internationally on the same day, something like the JLPT. I received an SMS from a friend who said she is currently ON LEAVE studying for it, I read blogs of friends who are extremely stressed because there is just so much to study and it's apparently very difficult (and yes they are also on leave from work - like WOW?!?), and screen names related to the CFA exam (something like 'CFA sucks', 'I hate CFA', 'stressed about CFA', etc) have been appearing alot on my MSN contact list these days, hmmm.

The ignorant arts student wishes everyone taking the CFA exam the best of luck on June 3rd (thanks Dawn)!

If I had you here
I'd clip your wings.

Bell X1 - Eve, The Apple Of My Eye.