Eleven minutes.

Last Wednesday, I decided that my December vacation had to come to an end, and that I should get my ass off the couch and work on my thesis ASAP. The following day, I found myself arriving at the new National Library at 12 noon, and stayed in the reference section on the seventh storey all the way till 8.20 in the evening (but obviously I did not spend eight hours on research alone, durrrr ;p).

I don't mean to point out the bleeding obvious, but I realised in that span of eight hours, that working on a 12,000-word thesis is perhaps one of the most lonesome things in the world to do. The topic belongs to you and you alone, you can't share the task of research with anyone, and neither can you actively discuss your research findings with anyone who would even be half as passionate as you are about your own topic (apart from the supervisor, maybe). And while you definitely are able to share those feelings of misery and frustration (that inevitably come with a thesis) to family and friends, the task of writing the damn thing ultimately belongs to you alone, and only you will know your 'stuff', so... at the end of the day, you face those topic/thesis-related problems and worries by yourself. Well, maybe with the exception of those who have conquered, are in the midst of writing, or have given up a thesis, but then everyone goes through a different process and has a different story to tell, which brings me back to my point: writing a thesis is a LONESOME process.

So there I was, all by myself in the library feeling pathetic, worried and confused, and poring through a book entitled "Surviving Your Thesis" (always nice to have some encouragement along the way), when I came across this --

"Some people claim they could never undertake a thesis, for whatever reason, because they see the task as too difficult ("kaching!!!!" for Lynn). But there are others who do aspire to complete a thesis and, while it is arduous and demanding, find the journey of completing a thesis a worthwhile experience, separate from the satisfaction of completing the thesis. A thesis, like other challenging goals, because it is hard, and is a goal that not everyone can achieve, is a more worthwhile goal." - Suzan Burton & Peter Steane

Hmm. I hope this will motivate me for awhile.... o_O

But what I really feel
My eyes won't let me hide
'Cos they always start to cry.

Justin Lo - Lately.