The squid and the whale.

As part of my thesis preparation I had a meeting with the university librarian in charge of Japanese studies for the first time this afternoon, and as much as I have told myself I am going to put in my best effort for this coming year to make it all worthwhile, I cannot help but feel that the future is going to be blurry.

For one, I'm struggling to understand what my Sensei says in class (and the fact that everyone else seemed to understand made it all the more worse), and after the 'library tour', I realised that I'd entirely overlooked the fact that if I was going to write a 12,000-word thesis about Japan, it is only natural and inevitable that I have to read and reference resource material in the national language.

My heart skipped two beats as the friendly librarian led me to the Japanese reference book section, and then shortly after I collapsed and died inside of me.

Welcome to 4th year, Lynn.