I say a little prayer for you.



Dearest Wei,

So we all said our last goodbyes to you today as you were pushed into the flames. Words cannot express how we all felt at that time. The final, and most difficult-to-bear confirmation that you were never gonna be with us anymore. I vividly remember how when those expressionless men lifted your coffin to be pushed into the flames, everyone started going "Zhiwei take care... Zhiwei take care..." and my tears started to fall. At that time I wondered to myself, how do these Mount Vernon men feel as they do the same thing, day in and day out? Pushing dead people into flames and having to look at crying faces and grieving expressions a thousand times in a day?

I wrote you a letter this morning, accompanied by a large sunflower, hoping that you'll be able to find another place with lots of sun - 'cos that's just what you are anyway. Our little sunshine who's always smiling and cracking silly jokes to make us laugh. I asked for the two items to be put on top of the coffin and cremated with you, together with the countless number of paper cranes and stars that your classmates folded, for a part of us to always be with you even after your departure.

I remember when we were younger, we used to sing this children's song called "zi ji die dao zi ji pa" (meaning "picking yourself up after a fall", literally). It brought back fond memories of our childhood - the days we fought, the times I made you cry for God knows what reasons, or even at family gatherings where we used to fool around talking crap and all. Most importantly, it reminded me that this song was especially sung for you because it goes "wei wei, bu yao pa, ni shi hao wa wa..." I will never look at this song the same way again, Wei. The lyrics are enough to kill me.

Take care my beloved cousin, may you find peace and happiness wherever you may be now. Lynn Jiejie will love you always. I promise you, for the rest of my life. Time will heal the wounds, but will never erase all the memories I have of you, okay?

And for now, allow me to sing you this song for the last time, can?

wei wei bu yao pa
ni shi hao wa wa
zi ji die dao zi ji pa
ni kan shan shang wei ni kai man hong hua
ni shi hao wa wa
yao zi ji die dao zi ji pa.

Like the lyrics of this song mention, you are indeed a very nice boy who is capable of solving your own problems. And I hope that by now you can notice the red flowers on the mountain, just for you. Remember my boy... when you fall down, you have to pick yourself up.

It's a pity Wei, that this time when you really fell, you couldn't pick yourself up.

There was no one to pick you up.

Have a good sleep.