You don't know me.

Yesterday started off on a bad note. I'd gone to bed without setting my alarm clock the night before, and I was supposed to have an in-class test the next day at 12 noon (it's worth only ONE percent of the total assessment, but still). So I woke up, feeling like it was damn late already and grabbed my alarm clock to have a look.

OMG it was already 1135!!!!!!!!!!!! -_-

After a few moments of pondering I decided that I shall screw it and forgo the ONE percent, because I thought I wasn't going to make it anyway. I whined to Cecil about it on SMS and she told me that I should have tried to rushed to make it because Sensei only started the test 15 minutes after the class started, which made me feel alot worse. But okay, *deep breath* ... one percent, it's just one percent.

I just hope I don't get scores like 79 or 74 at the end of the semester. If that happens I'll never be able to forgive myself for letting the ONE percent go like that.

X X X

The highest point of the day, however, was that despite all that morning BOOBOO I decided to make my way to Starbucks on Collins, just to check if Starbuck was on duty (yes tell me I am crazy) - and he was there. He not only made me a hot chocolate, but also made my day by indirectly 'speaking' to me. You know, calling out my name and the usual "Have a good day" yada yada. Was really tempted to ask his name but I thought it was too silly and un-Lynn to do so. HJ suggested writing him a note (O_o), but we'll see how long this thing lasts first...

I've also come to realise, that a 'relationship' of this nature is probably what I want, and am comfortable with at the moment. To just admire someone from my own little corner without letting him know of my existence, let alone know how I feel. Real relationships are too heartbreaking and emotionally-draining for me now, that I've decided to choose the unreal, the one-sided, and be happy with it. With regards to me and Starbuck, there won't be any highs for sure, but at the same time I know there won't be any lows because there isn't anything real for us to start with - no interaction, no names, no numbers, no details, no expectations, no disappointments, no heartbreaks. In fact I think if we actually develop a friendship (although most probably not), it will kill the beauty of it all, simply because deep down inside I know he isn't that wonderfully amazing in reality (well, most people turn out this way don't they?). Maybe I am becoming too self-delusional for my own good, but I'm contented enough to have things remain this way. To me, Starbuck is 100% perfect the way he is, and I don't want anything to change. For now at least, I'll be more than happy to just sit at my usual spot doing my readings, and occasionally look up to watch him make coffee while I sip a hot caramel macchiato.

Now for my next mission: To steal a photo with my handphone camera whenever possible...

I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
And I've been secretly falling apart
I'll see.

To me you're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me.

Aqualung - Strange And Beautiful.